General Chit Chat

[LeverEnd]

Haha! Brilliant. Did I send you that photo of the bog in the Balmoral? I dinnae goo tae a pub fae a shite!

[Bruce Rioja]

New Visit Scotland ad - here

[Hoboh]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35285258" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

"With some 70% of Land Rovers ever built still around we will still be able to cuddle them and see them on the road. And while we can shed a tear, there are still lots and lots of Land Rovers,"

Stunning statistic!

[Bruce Rioja]

Haha! Brilliant. Did I send you that photo of the bog in the Balmoral? I dinnae goo tae a pub fae a shite!

[thebish]

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I've just eaten four fresh figs. Iv'e never eaten fresh figs before. They've joined a very short list that starts with anchovies, has avocados, and fugu, in the middle, and ends with kippers.

[TANGODANCER]

Funny and not so funny:

Came in from taking the dog for his morning walk to the newsagents and back. Wife was just taking a phonecall and "mouthed" it's our XXX?" I made a smartish dash for the toilet whilst she answered the call. Now our xxx lives in California and they're eight hours behind us in time, meaning it would be 2-30 am over there. Cause for worry indicated? Why was he ringing at that unearthly hour? Came down from the toilet to find the wife giving me a very old-fashioned look indeed. "What's up?" I asked, all wide-eyed and concerned.

"Did you get a call or message whilst you were out, and was there an ambulance anywhere near you?" said she....

"Aye, but it just a promo message from Vodaphone, and yes, an ambulance went howling by, all systems screaming. I just calmed the dog because he was going bananas. Why?"

Well you must have pressed a wrong button and you called XXX and woke him up. He only heard deep breathing, and ambulance screaming and you saying, " allright, it's okay". You then cut the phone off and he's been ringing and texting around family thinking a big emergency had occured. After I assured him all was okay and explained what must have happened he was very relieved, but said..."ffs mother, is he trying to give me a heart attack?."

and.. and another

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Funny and not so funny:

Came in from taking the dog for his morning walk to the newsagents and back. Wife was just taking a phonecall and "mouthed" it's our XXX?" I made a smartish dash for the toilet whilst she answered the call. Now our xxx lives in California and they're eight hours behind us in time, meaning it would be 2-30 am over there. Cause for worry indicated? Why was he ringing at that unearthly hour? Came down from the toilet to find the wife giving me a very old-fashioned look indeed. "What's up?" I asked, all wide-eyed and concerned.

"Did you get a call or message whilst you were out, and was there an ambulance anywhere near you?" said she....

"Aye, but it just a promo message from Vodaphone, and yes, an ambulance went howling by, all systems screaming. I just calmed the dog because he was going bananas. Why?"

Well you must have pressed a wrong button and you called XXX and woke him up. He only heard deep breathing, and ambulance screaming and you saying, " allright, it's okay". You then cut the phone off and he's been ringing and texting around family thinking a big emergency had occured. After I assured him all was okay and explained what must have happened he was very relieved, but said..."ffs mother, is he trying to give me a heart attack?."

and.. and another

My father is constantly calling my mobile just by putting his into his pocket, as I'm first in the list of phone numbers. i keep telling him to turn his lock screen on.
and then when he did a month back he permanently locked it, the pillock.

[Bruce Rioja]

'Britain's' Johanna Konta clinches Australian Open semi-final place. Have we annexed Sydney or summat?

[Gary the Enfield]

'Britain's' Johanna Konta clinches Australian Open semi-final place. Have we annexed Sydney or summat?

She has. British paasport.

She can go back to being Australian when she loses.

[Enoch]

a bunch of white men with a guns is something to be calmly considered and debated... it seems... in America....

I see the band of armed non-terrorists have been.... disarmed?

Seems they let off a few rounds. Spot of high jinx I guess.

[Worthy4England]

'Britain's' Johanna Konta clinches Australian Open semi-final place. Have we annexed Sydney or summat?

She has. British paasport.

She can go back to being Australian when she loses.

Or Scottish - we're not fussed...

[TANGODANCER]

Have a look at this:

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/142 ... u_solve_it_/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[LeverEnd]

Have a look at this:

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/142 ... u_solve_it_/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Easy if you know the order of operations rule he describes. He calls it something else but it's known as BIDMAS in our schools - brackets, indices, division, multiplication addition subtraction.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Have a look at this:

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/142 ... u_solve_it_/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Easy if you know the order of operations rule he describes. He calls it something else but it's known as BIDMAS in our schools - brackets, indices, division, multiplication addition subtraction.

Yeah, I knew that and still arrived at 56.

[Prufrock]

That's like yr 6 maths.

[Hoboh]

Just seen a video of frosty knickers chase down a score of 26 and she got three wrong!!!

All hail the governess

[Montreal Wanderer]

Have a look at this:

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/142 ... u_solve_it_/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Easy if you know the order of operations rule he describes. He calls it something else but it's known as BIDMAS in our schools - brackets, indices, division, multiplication addition subtraction.

They said BODMAS and you said BIDMAS, let's work the whole thing out. Oddly over here it is BEDMAS - the E standing for Exponents. Still I got the correct answer.

[Montreal Wanderer]

Have a look at this:

http://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/142 ... u_solve_it_/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Easy if you know the order of operations rule he describes. He calls it something else but it's known as BIDMAS in our schools - brackets, indices, division, multiplication addition subtraction.

Yeah, I knew that and still arrived at 56.

I'm surprised but it would be as lot easier if they had actually used brackets. Then the problem would read
7 + (7/7) + (7x7) - 7
Now if you do the brackets first you get
7 + 1 + 49 - 7
and even you can't miss, Spotty.

[Bruce Rioja]

Just seen a video of frosty knickers chase down a score of 26 and she got three wrong!!!

All hail the governess

Right oh!