Which celebrity would you like to have a fight with?

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:18 pm

I'm normally a pacifist but I think sometimes some people just need to be taught a lesson. They need their smug faces shutting up once and for all and the only language they understand in a smack in the gob.

Top of my list would probably be Ricky Gervais. Don't get me wrong I'm a fan of The Office & Extras but let's be fair when he's out of character he's a bit of a tool. He came out of nowhere then overstayed his welcome. Plus because he's cracked America he likes to think of himself as the new Monty Python.

Besides, more than anything else he's out of shape so I reckon I could take him. Him and his lanky-streak-of-piss mate.

Any other suggestions? Johnny Vegas maybe? Bruce Forsythe? How about Ferne cotton?

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:20 pm

I had my chance and missed it. Stood next to Mark Lamarr at the Edinburgh Festival. Didn't punch him. Always regretted it.

Dave Sutton's barnet · Post by **Dave Sutton's barnet** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:29 pm

Depends how you define celebrity. He's not Heat material, but if we define a celebrity as someone whose anachronistic, bombastic, pretentious, preposterous, offensive and ignorant thoughts and quotes fill our newspapers and TV screens, it'd have to be Brian Sewell. Man, I'd chop that mother down.

Lord Kangana · Post by **Lord Kangana** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:33 pm

Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:Depends how you define celebrity. He's not Heat material, but if we define a celebrity as someone whose anachronistic, bombastic, pretentious, preposterous, offensive and ignorant thoughts and quotes fill our newspapers and TV screens, it'd have to be Brian Sewell. Man, I'd chop that mother down.

can I be your second, please?

Brian Sewell

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:34 pm

Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:Depends how you define celebrity. He's not Heat material, but if we define a celebrity as someone whose anachronistic, bombastic, pretentious, preposterous, offensive and ignorant thoughts and quotes fill our newspapers and TV screens, it'd have to be Brian Sewell. Man, I'd chop that mother down.

Good one. My target in that category would be Quentin Letts. Odious little creep.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:34 pm

Good point.
For the purposes of the discussion, if they're on Wikipedia, they're a celebrity...

Athers · Post by **Athers** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:38 pm

Steven Gerrard

Though he could be quite hard so if possible I'd like the element of surprise and maybe a bat.

Lord Kangana · Post by **Lord Kangana** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:44 pm

Athers wrote:Steven Gerrard

Though he could be quite hard so if possible I'd like the element of surprise and maybe a bat.

He'd be on the floor before he heard you coming...

The-Wanderer · Post by **The-Wanderer** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:55 pm

err Christiano Ronaldo if he is a celebrity
Well Said Ricky Hatton On Al Murray

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:56 pm

Wayne Sleep. He's not done any thing to offend me. But he's really small.

finlayson · Post by **finlayson** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:24 pm

Amir Khan.

I reckon I have about 2 feet on him and about 6 stone. I could do him with one punch. On the other hand he could probably ko me if he got lucky and landed properly!

David Walliams would be a suitable replacement.

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:20 pm

Jeremy Kyle. Only seen him a couple of times. It was enough.

Next, Steve Ryder.

Rated R Superstar · Post by **Rated R Superstar** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:22 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:I'm normally a pacifist but I think sometimes some people just need to be taught a lesson. They need their smug faces shutting up once and for all and the only language they understand in a smack in the gob.

Top of my list would probably be Ricky Gervais. Don't get me wrong I'm a fan of The Office & Extras but let's be fair when he's out of character he's a bit of a tool. He came out of nowhere then overstayed his welcome. Plus because he's cracked America he likes to think of himself as the new Monty Python.

Besides, more than anything else he's out of shape so I reckon I could take him. Him and his lanky-streak-of-piss mate.

Any other suggestions? Johnny Vegas maybe? Bruce Forsythe? How about Ferne cotton?

+1 for Gervais.

Apparently he's going to be a character in Grand Theft Auto 4. I'm hoping it let's me shoot the fecker. Multiple times.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:29 pm

So it's just me who'd do Ferne cotton then?

Rated R Superstar · Post by **Rated R Superstar** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:47 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:So it's just me who'd do Ferne cotton then?

Depends.........will there be custard involved?

hisroyalgingerness · Post by **hisroyalgingerness** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 9:31 am

i'd happily take on all of the sky sports pundit panel

Batman · Post by **Batman** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 9:40 am

Paul Merson would get a boot to the face.........

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:55 am

I'd love to get that tw@t Harry Hill in a locked room.

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:58 am

and when I'd finished with him I'd drag in that other tw@t Alan Carr.

bobby5 · Post by **bobby5** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:14 pm

Fred Talbot, the whole cast of Eastenders, Richard Hammond, Johnny Vaughan.