Joke thread

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:33 pm

Always hopeful wrote:Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:40 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Always hopeful wrote:Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.

Had to have a couple of reads, but I think Can't ger oot....

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:00 pm

Worthy4England wrote:
Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Always hopeful wrote:Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.

Had to have a couple of reads, but I think Can't ger oot....

Thanks, Worthy

I think

Gravedigger · Post by **Gravedigger** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:09 pm

Aussie musical instrument.....didgeridoo
Aussie virgin........................didgeridon't

BWFC_Wyles · Post by **BWFC_Wyles** » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:35 pm

bedwetter2 wrote:I was working in the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my wife:
"Lee,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone.Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative." And as I eagerly rushed home I couldn't help but wonder......what the fcuk does "ternative" mean?

absolutely love this. Giggled like a child as I retyped it on my phone to send to several in my phonebook!

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:29 am

MJH-12 wrote:
bedwetter2 wrote:I was working in the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my wife:
"Lee,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone.Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative." And as I eagerly rushed home I couldn't help but wonder......what the fcuk does "ternative" mean?
absolutely love this. Giggled like a child as I retyped it on my phone to send to several in my phonebook!

I also thought that was one of the best ones i've read in quite a while.

blurred · Post by **blurred** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:34 pm

With all the pictures on the news of miners and scousers celebrating, I thought Thatcher had died for a minute...

Hoboh · Post by **Hoboh** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:22 pm

blurred wrote:With all the pictures on the news of miners and scousers celebrating, I thought Thatcher had died for a minute...

Why? Parole ain't everything, its not like real freedom you know, tisk silly me! being scouse you'd already know that

a1 · Post by a1 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:23 pm

blurred wrote:With all the pictures on the news of miners and scousers celebrating, I thought Thatcher had died for a minute...

i *think* they stop the heart during a bypass.

oh, hang on, you meant his wife.

General Mannerheim · Post by **General Mannerheim** » Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:52 am

Yesits very good, but I'm still to gear better than the Rick Astley Pixar one!:)

thebish · Post by **thebish** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:13 pm

We were recently reminded of a spat between KB and Commie over the crucial issue - was Stephen Ireland's car picture photoshopped?

Gravedigger · Post by **Gravedigger** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 1:44 am

thebish wrote:We were recently reminded of a spat between KB and Commie over the crucial issue - was Stephen Ireland's car picture photoshopped?

Didn't know they had photoshop in the 19th century.

thebish · Post by **thebish** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:38 am

of course they did!! do you think George III REALLY looked like that?

Gravedigger · Post by **Gravedigger** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:44 pm

thebish · Post by **thebish** » Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:34 pm

Dujon · Post by **Dujon** » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:17 pm

Customer: I told my wife last night that within the month I'll smother her in diamonds.

Barman: Really?

Customer: Yes. But I woke up this morning with an idea for a cheaper method.

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:43 am

thebish wrote:

In Thailand they push up and down just to guarantee it will stop.

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:15 pm

seanworth wrote:
thebish wrote:
In Thailand they push up and down just to guarantee it will stop.

Not only in Thailand, Sean - they do it here and it is bloody annoying making unnecessary stops on the way up. Oops - this should be in the angry thread.

Lofthouse Lower · Post by **Lofthouse Lower** » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:17 pm

I like to do it in a morning when heading up the stairs (good exercise), just to annoy all the lazy buggers who use the lifts

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:19 pm

East Lower wrote:I like to do it in a morning when heading up the stairs (good exercise), just to annoy all the lazy buggers who use the lifts

I don't suppose you work on the thirtieth floor or consider some of the people you are annoying are mobility impaired. Still whatever rings your chimes as they say.

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