Joke thread

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

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Montreal Wanderer
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Post by Montreal Wanderer » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:33 pm

Always hopeful wrote:Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.
:conf: :oops:
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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Worthy4England
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Post by Worthy4England » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:40 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Always hopeful wrote:Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.
:conf: :oops:

Had to have a couple of reads, but I think Can't ger oot....

:D
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Post by Montreal Wanderer » Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:00 pm

Worthy4England wrote:
Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Always hopeful wrote:Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.
:conf: :oops:

Had to have a couple of reads, but I think Can't ger oot....

:D
Thanks, Worthy :oops: I think
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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Gravedigger
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Post by Gravedigger » Tue Oct 12, 2010 2:09 pm

Aussie musical instrument.....didgeridoo
Aussie virgin........................didgeridon't
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Post by BWFC_Wyles » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:35 pm

bedwetter2 wrote:I was working in the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my wife:
"Lee,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone.Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative." And as I eagerly rushed home I couldn't help but wonder......what the fcuk does "ternative" mean?
absolutely love this. Giggled like a child as I retyped it on my phone to send to several in my phonebook!
"Anything else you'd like? How about real lead in the radiation shields? Urinal cakes, maybe?"
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Post by seanworth » Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:29 am

MJH-12 wrote:
bedwetter2 wrote:I was working in the Carphone Warehouse last night when I received this text from my wife:
"Lee,thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphone.Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative." And as I eagerly rushed home I couldn't help but wonder......what the fcuk does "ternative" mean?
absolutely love this. Giggled like a child as I retyped it on my phone to send to several in my phonebook!
I also thought that was one of the best ones i've read in quite a while.
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Post by blurred » Wed Oct 13, 2010 12:34 pm

With all the pictures on the news of miners and scousers celebrating, I thought Thatcher had died for a minute...
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Post by Hoboh » Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:22 pm

blurred wrote:With all the pictures on the news of miners and scousers celebrating, I thought Thatcher had died for a minute...
Why? Parole ain't everything, its not like real freedom you know, tisk silly me! being scouse you'd already know that :mrgreen:
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Post by a1 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:23 pm

blurred wrote:With all the pictures on the news of miners and scousers celebrating, I thought Thatcher had died for a minute...
i *think* they stop the heart during a bypass.

oh, hang on, you meant his wife.
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Post by General Mannerheim » Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:52 am

Yesits very good, but I'm still to gear better than the Rick Astley Pixar one!:)
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Post by thebish » Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:13 pm

We were recently reminded of a spat between KB and Commie over the crucial issue - was Stephen Ireland's car picture photoshopped?

Image
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Post by Gravedigger » Sat Oct 16, 2010 1:44 am

thebish wrote:We were recently reminded of a spat between KB and Commie over the crucial issue - was Stephen Ireland's car picture photoshopped?

Image
Didn't know they had photoshop in the 19th century. 8)
Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man and let history make up its own mind.
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Post by thebish » Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:38 am

of course they did!! do you think George III REALLY looked like that? :wink:
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Post by Gravedigger » Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:44 pm

:drink: :drink:
Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man and let history make up its own mind.
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Post by thebish » Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:34 pm

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Post by Dujon » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:17 pm

Customer: I told my wife last night that within the month I'll smother her in diamonds.

Barman: Really?

Customer: Yes. But I woke up this morning with an idea for a cheaper method.
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Post by seanworth » Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:43 am

thebish wrote:Image
In Thailand they push up and down just to guarantee it will stop.
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Post by Montreal Wanderer » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:15 pm

seanworth wrote:
thebish wrote:Image
In Thailand they push up and down just to guarantee it will stop.
Not only in Thailand, Sean - they do it here and it is bloody annoying making unnecessary stops on the way up. Oops - this should be in the angry thread.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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Post by Lofthouse Lower » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:17 pm

I like to do it in a morning when heading up the stairs (good exercise), just to annoy all the lazy buggers who use the lifts
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Post by Montreal Wanderer » Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:19 pm

East Lower wrote:I like to do it in a morning when heading up the stairs (good exercise), just to annoy all the lazy buggers who use the lifts
I don't suppose you work on the thirtieth floor or consider some of the people you are annoying are mobility impaired. Still whatever rings your chimes as they say.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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