If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!

[Worthy4England]

We're scared of the Trades Description Act and the word "striker". We can't afford the fine.

[thebish]

We're scared of the Trades Description Act and the word "striker". We can't afford the fine.

the official site describes him as: "the powerhouse centre-forward"

[Dr Hotdog]

Could we recall Wilkinson from his loan...

Why would we want to recall Wilkinson? genuine question because whenever I saw him he was as bad as madine

It was partly said in jest. Madine isn't working. Someone else might? Woolery, Thomas?

Tom Eaves - he's a striker and he's ours - we own him - where is he???

Last I heard he was recovering from hip surgery, the cause of which was 'really hampering his progress'.

It'll be his year in 2019.

[Tombwfc]

Firstly, my issue is with people criticising Nolan, which given where we are and some of the players we have, is a joke. In fact since he left i doubt we've signed any midfielder of comparable quality. (Holden yes but no because of injuries) Secondly I was under the impression NL said we could get one maybe two more players, if that's not the case then I would prefer a quality striker but I just doubt we'll get one. As for where he would play, it's obviously in place of Clough -who has been dreadful this season. Nolan could get 15 goals in a season which is what you'd expect from good striker anyway.

This. The who would Nolan replace question is silly. We're not scoring goals. Nolan would and should replace any of the useless fecks who can't hit a barn door.....I'd take a player capable of double figures over any single one of the ones we currently are playing because I don't see any of them reaching double figures. In many cases they could play for two seasons and still not hit 10 goals.

But the question is, would he get those goals, without a decent striker to play off? Without players who struggle to get the ball into the box consistently?

I highly doubt it

There you go again, spoiling the party. Nolan GUARANTEES goals; might as well call him Kevin Goalan. Doesn't matter where or whether he fits into the team, he drips goals just by walking onto the pitch. Bollocks to shape and tactics, just get him in there, anywhere.

All we have to do now is persuade him to play for a twelfth of his last wage.

It's alright being facetious about it, but if we can only sign one player, who would you sign? For 5-10k a week we're not going to get someone who can single-handedly solve all our problems going forward (Didier Drogba circa 2009).

I think the semi-realistic shouts I've heard so far are Nolan, Wilson, Maynard and Vaz Te. None are close to perfect. Vaz Te is probably out of our reach and, according to Marc Iles, not Lennon's type. Maynard can't stay fit. Wilson has never played consistent first team football and would be taken away the second he started to score goals for us.

Given we're stuck with Pratley, who has shown at times to be able to contribute goals from midfield, I'd prefer a striker. But given the options available, I don't think taking Nolan instead is a ridiculous idea (at least in terms of where he could fit in and what he could offer, I don't know what he's prepared to accept wages-wise at this stage). He's scored goals at every club and at every level he's ever played and made a living bringing the best out of big centre forwards.

Madine looks bereft of confidence already, but there is something there to work with. He showed enough against Derby to suggest he can be effective in this league. With Nolan behind him that could turn into a decent partnership, not to mention the fact that Nobby is a leader and somebody who our lads could learn a lot from.

[thebish]

will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!

[Little Green Man]

will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!

Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.

[thebish]

will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!

Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.

appen as mebbes not... but not being on thewir uppers doesn't usually stop a premiership footballer turning down a derisory £10,000per week offer!

what I don't really know is how much actual sentimental loyalty Nolly still has for Bolton...

[Prufrock]

will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!

Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.

Aye, but as always I guess it depends what anyone else is offering.

Hopefully he hates this that London and wants to move back home. Throw in a coaching role and we might have a deal. *He says with absolutely no basis*.

[General Mannerheim]

will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!

Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.

Aye, but as always I guess it depends what anyone else is offering.

Hopefully he hates this that London and wants to move back home. Throw in a coaching role and we might have a deal. *He says with absolutely no basis*.

he'd probably already be at home training with Tranmere or summat if that were the case, or us even...?

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

It's alright being facetious about it

Cheers for the permission; I'll crack on, then. Apparently, facetious is one of only two words in the English language with all five vowels in alphabetical order.

if we can only sign one player, who would you sign?

Not an ageing midfielder.

For 5-10k a week we're not going to get

...Nolan?

For 5-10k a week we're not going to get someone who can single-handedly solve all our problems going forward (Didier Drogba circa 2009).

No. But we might consider a striker. There's plenty about; just because we haven't been linked with them yet doesn't mean they don't exist. As Premier squads settle down, there'll be those on the periphery – and I would hate to miss out on them because we've made somebody a cake.

I don't think taking Nolan instead is a ridiculous idea

Evidently I do, as I'm ridiculing it. In some ways, the idea has merit. He has his qualities, like standing in front of the goalkeeper and arguing with referees. If we had a 15kpw budget and he'd settle for 5kpw, it might be beneficial.

He's scored goals at every club and at every level he's ever played

Except the level of advancing years. Since turning 31 in summer 2013 he's played 74 games and scored 8 goals. That's not one in three, it's one in nine. At that rate, to score "15" he'd have to play 135 games. (And before anybody says he'd be facing more limited opponents, I might point out he'd be playing with similarly limited team-mates: we are, lest we forget, 17th in the second division with one win since Easter.)

He's scored goals at every club and at every level he's ever played and made a living bringing the best out of big centre forwards. Madine looks bereft of confidence already, but there is something there to work with. He showed enough against Derby to suggest he can be effective in this league. With Nolan behind him that could turn into a decent partnership

I think it might be a bit of a push to say that he's "brought the best" out of big centre-forwards. I suspect the causal relationship there: he might have benefited from playing behind effective ones, but what exactly about him is it that turns big centre-forwards into world-beaters? Or is that due to other factors, and he is the beneficiary rather than benefactor? Because if there's any chance at all that that's the case – and I'd say we'd all be hard-pushed to prove it isn't - then there remains a good chance we'll be spending our last money on an old, low-scoring, non-passing, non-tackling, never-particularly-fast, non-forward who wouldn't even improve our hitherto worryingly ineffective striker.

Just my opinion, like. I'm not here to win a popular vote or change people's minds.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

It's alright being facetious about it

Cheers for the permission; I'll crack on, then. Apparently, facetious is one of only two words in the English language with all five vowels in alphabetical order.
.

Hmmm: Feeling a little abstemious, I decided to devour my caesious muffin pie but when I went get it I discovered a facetious note from my wife in its place.

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

It's alright being facetious about it

Cheers for the permission; I'll crack on, then. Apparently, facetious is one of only two words in the English language with all five vowels in alphabetical order.
.

Hmmm: Feeling a little abstemious, I decided to devour my caesious muffin pie but when I went get it I discovered a facetious note from my wife in its place.

If you were feeling abstemious, why did you decide to devour the whole pie? (Caesious is a fascinating suggestion, but I'd be tempted to say that as a botanical term from the Latin, it might be a ligatured ae... )

[thebish]

also - who (in their right mind) would consider devouring a whole muffin pie that they obswerved had waxy bluish-grey coating?

[Lost Leopard Spot]

also - who (in their right mind) would consider devouring a whole muffin pie that they obswerved had waxy bluish-grey coating?

I never, ever, claimed to be in my right mind.
(I'm still trying to work out why a ligatured botanical Latin term doesn't count. Snot fair).

[Enoch]

Why not get Nolan in and while we're about it Kevin Davies is at a loose end.

We could probably get the pair for two bob.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Why not get Nolan in and while we're about it Kevin Davies is at a loose end.

We could probably get the pair for two bob.

Two Bob, thruppence ha'penny each at max. (Don't start on about Super, f'r'chri'sake)

[thebish]

Why not get Nolan in and while we're about it Kevin Davies is at a loose end.

We could probably get the pair for two bob taylors.

fixed that for you!

[Tombwfc]

I think it might be a bit of a push to say that he's "brought the best" out of big centre-forwards. I suspect the causal relationship there: he might have benefited from playing behind effective ones, but what exactly about him is it that turns big centre-forwards into world-beaters? Or is that due to other factors, and he is the beneficiary rather than benefactor? Because if there's any chance at all that that's the case – and I'd say we'd all be hard-pushed to prove it isn't - then there remains a good chance we'll be spending our last money on an old, low-scoring, non-passing, non-tackling, never-particularly-fast, non-forward who wouldn't even improve our hitherto worryingly ineffective striker.

Andy Carroll's record starting games alongside Kevin Nolan is a goal every 2.3 games. Outside of the games he's started with Nolan, he averages a goal every 4.3 games. I don't have time to do the same for SKD, but I would guess his stats playing alongside Nolan stack up quite well compared to when he didn't.

But again, I didn't say Nolan was the ideal signing. In fact I said the opposite. I also never said he'd score 15 goals. I think he would improve us and compared to the other options he wouldn't be the worst to bring in. If at any point you'd like to tell me who a few of the 'plenty' good strikers we could get instead are, I'll happily reconsider.

[thebish]

Andy Carroll's record starting games alongside Kevin Nolan is a goal every 2.3 games.

aye - but due to being injured in 36 out of every 5 games, Carrol has only played 2.3 games for west ham, surely?

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

Andy Carroll's record starting games alongside Kevin Nolan is a goal every 2.3 games. Outside of the games he's started with Nolan, he averages a goal every 4.3 games.

While you're on the abacus, out of interest, what's Carroll's scoring rate with and without Allardyce as manager? Or, perhaps an easier one: of Carroll's goals, how many have come from Nolan assists? As someone once said, everyone that confuses correlation with causation ends up dead eventually.

I don't have time to do the same for SKD, but I would guess his stats playing alongside Nolan stack up quite well compared to when he didn't.

Yep, I'd say the times when we were qualifying for Europe under Allardyce were probably more fruitful than the ones we were in the bottom half and a lower division. Is that because Nolan made KD a better player, or are there larger forces at work?

But again, I didn't say Nolan was the ideal signing. In fact I said the opposite.

Did you really say it was the opposite of ideal?

I also never said he'd score 15 goals.

No, that's a fair point - someone else did that, and nobody argued. That worried me.

I think he would improve us and compared to the other options he wouldn't be the worst to bring in.

See, this isn't exactly Socratic dialogue we're having here, but that doesn't sound like saying the opposite of him being the ideal signing.

I think he would improve us and compared to the other options he wouldn't be the worst to bring in. If at any point you'd like to tell me who a few of the 'plenty' good strikers we could get instead are, I'll happily reconsider.

And if you'd read the line before that, you'd see I mention - in the future tense - that the squads will be settling down. "As Premier squads settle down, there'll be those on the periphery – and I would hate to miss out on them because we've made somebody a cake." I don't yet know which forwards will be unwanted, so to suggest ideas now would be an entirely hypothetical listing of squad players who may or may not be available, may or may not affordable and may or may not want to come: how many TW readers had heard of Wellington two months ago?

But then...

I'm not here to win a popular vote or change people's minds.